if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
Randomize
