Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
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