Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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