Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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