The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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