When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
I think we might need a safe word for this...
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize
