I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
My legs feel like baby dolphins
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Randomize
