Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
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