Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
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