Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Randomize
