pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
This beer is not sobering me up at all
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
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