I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
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