is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
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