By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize