He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
