So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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