You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
