id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
