Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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