Umm I'm too high to move.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize