i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Randomize