i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Randomize