You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
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