Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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