Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
i wish my penis had a tongue
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
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