I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
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