Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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