her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Randomize
