Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
