Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Randomize
