Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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