WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
