is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
Randomize
