The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
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