Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
