The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
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