I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Randomize
