yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
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