you win again, gameday.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
im on a boat
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