Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Randomize
