ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Randomize
