Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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