True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
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