Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
no you cant smoke seaweed
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
Randomize
