I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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