Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
Pappa wants mamma naked
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
cat food counts as protein by the way
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize