Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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