She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
Randomize
