I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
It's just like the Real World with babies
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
