It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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