So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize
