apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Randomize
