Joe is yelling at the trees again.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
