I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
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