we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize