I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
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