There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
