O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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