can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
