No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
