I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
