we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
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