it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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