is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
