he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
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