do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
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