you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
I'm sobbing to NWA
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Randomize
