our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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