You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Randomize