And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
