Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
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