when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
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