beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
Sober January is a disaster.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
My bed smells like the plague
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize