Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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