i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Randomize
