I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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