so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
